year end!!!!

today's our cinderella's birthday. at last, finally, she became an adult. can vote dy.... as to celebrate it, i went to the cinema alone. all alone. man, never go to cinema alone. u cannot even share the jokes or critisize the movie right at that spot..... i was not desperate for movies, but need to finish up my vouchers before saturday. so i'm trying my very best now. hahaha. King Kong, not bad but it din capture my heart and attention as LOTR did. but the fight between our King and t-rex was awesome. tomoro i might bring some frenz to watch together. told u before, need to finish up my vouchers.

i was and am sick for the past few days. dunno y. maybe my frenz missing me too much. come on lah, school reopens in about 11 days time. u guys gonna see me latest by then. dun miss me too much or i cannot work over here. hehehe.

yesterday was one of the most meaningful dates for me. the turning point of my life....... well, i wish nothing happened actually. but we had our red cross new year party. joy and laughter..... enjoyed very much. that's the spirit. after enjoying, we have to get back to work. a lot busier next year. hope everything is fine.....

already started bidding. u guys will be shocked if u know how i bidded. nobody would believe me, who spent a mere 7 points plus 15 or so for the past two sems, will do something like this. to save time, i bidded only once. hahaha. guess how is it?

now........ still waiting for the results. whatever, there's alwiz office of Life Sciences to settle things for me... hahahaha.....

oh ya, before i forget, Happy New Year!!!! Welcome 2006, i've been expecting u for so long.......

at last...... my forth poem!!!

In the midst of evrything, i did come up with a poem. its funny to think about it. hahahaha........
here's my poem:

The Day I Met You…… (title by Charlene)


The day I met you
my dreams came true;
the sky looked so blue,
there’s where my heart flew.

Amongst the stars in the galaxy,
It’s the moon which shines across the sky;
Amongst the wonders of the world,
It’s you who brightened up my life

In my meaning of life, you’re the definition;
In the journey of life, you’re my destination

Allow me to show you,
the paradise is true…..
Allow me to prove to you,
angels are made for you….
Allow me to share with you,
what a twinkling star can do……
Allow me to care for you…..
Allow me, please, will you?

I gave my heart to you,
but u returned in pieces;
no matter how hard I try to mend,
it would never be the same again.

Why praying for something hopeless;
Why crying for something meaningless;
Why trying for something useless; and
Why searching for something clueless?

What’s the use of singing,
without knowing the tunes;
What’s the use of painting,
without playing with the colours;and
What’s the use of loving,
without appreciating the person……

I’ve loved once,
for me, it’s enough;
in the next birth,
hope I’ll be loved…………

Created by,
Dinesh @Dd
(title by Charlene)
21 December 2005.

Screwed up!!!!

screwed up, starting from 13th of August, 12 am, my life has been screwed up. After i screwed up my love life, i got the presidency of Red Cross, which is a good thing. but then, my free time was screwed up......... then my health was screwed up, i was sick almost every week coz of stress and pressure. this resulted in the screwing up of my studies.... my classes screwed up as well as my mid term exams... everything screwed up.

then goes to my uncle's employee... he screwed up together with my sim card.... bad omen. i have to take care of what he left, my free time again was screwed up. financially, i was screwed up later. my finals, again was screwed up. have to work during my exam period, concentration screwed up, din have enough rest, ultimate pressure.

basically, i was screwed up. everything was going in the opposite way. man,.........

however, there's one thing which made me happy and relieved. my frenz were there for everything, giving me confidence and strength, fighting for every second. thanx a lot. without them, i would have been an ultimate loser.

need to rebuild my confidence for next sem.... i've fallen quite hard and bad. but i'll bounce back even stronger next sem.......

Hmmm......

went back home last week to visit my mum. she's weak after undergoing a surgery. but she's getting better now. after seeing me, she's very much better. haha. once i came back, i had a lot of things to do. haiya... busy man. i had to go here and there and spent a lot of time and money travelling. but i could have save if i know exactly where those locations are. sigh.....

already start cooking now. even though my cooking is not good (mum's cooking is the best always), but getting better. that's the most important thing; improvement. tomoro i'm gonna cook again. first time gonna cook chicken sambal. god, help me. hope i can eat it. and perhaps dan can eat also. haha.

my fourth poem is in progress. can't find words dy. maybe later after watching kuch kuch hota hai, i'll get motivated. hope so. i have to finish it. long time din come up with a poem. very very busy.

this year has been a so so year for me. however, a lot of things happened to me. mixture of feelings. i learnt a lot. really a lot. and there's a lot more to learn.... still in the process..

last thurs, went for a scholarship interview.... well, if i can get it, its a bonus for me. but if can't better luck next time. haha. not expecting anything. already given my best and i'll stay positive.

need to rest now. having a long day tomoro........

Life after exams....

wow, cool. this is what i thought i would be after my exams. but busy, stressed are the words best describe my situation now. busy with packing.... wonder how i, who stays here for the vacation, am busy packing. actually, i'm the kooli of the day. helping my frenz shifting their things. this is one of the 'jobs' i enjoy doing.
this is the first time i'm writing in this month. nothing happened. a boring life. need some planning for red cros for next semester. haven started but have to before i could go back most probably this thursday. my mum is weak after undergoing a surgery. so i think i have to go back to give some strength to her. hope she'll be fine. she will.
malaysia won 61golds in the SEA games. proud of u Malaysia. but very disappointed with the badminton team. after grabbing gold in the team event (men) with a mesmerizing moment, coming from 0-2 behind to win 3-2 against the Indon in the finals, the individuals gave up so easily. sigh.......
for football team, congratulations. even though din qualify to the finals, bronze isn't bad. really. maybe we must not be so slacky after taking the lead or getting goals till the last minute. maybe this is what they shud learn. everything else, congratulations.
feeling so lonely here. everyone is going back. i mean most of them. looking at them making me to feel stronger and special. i'm here for my commitments. good for me.
i think that's it for now. have to start writing a letter to my friend. she's gonna kill me after knowing i have not even touched the pen to write to her. Adious.

What a day!!!

shud have waken up early, but since i slept quite late after watching HUL CHUL alone... couldnt open my eyes this morning. woke up to help aman. HUL CHUL is not up to what i expected. the movie is not worth for a second watch. what's the point??? i watched kal ho na ho, con air, rush hour, etc for so so many times. so u can take my comment. btw, kal ho na ho is on tv (singapore) on the 4th Dec. i bet most of u will cry. hahaha.

cleaned up the room again since some of the aman's stuffs now in my room. so need some reorganization. feel so bored after the exams. dunno what to do. later have to start with my work. but it will not take long.

i have no complete joy after the exams....... dunno y. on seeing pep packing, feeling so sad. i have to go back home to meet my mum. she just undergone a surgery and she's still very weak. but with my commitments over here, i can't go back yet. need planning... planning..... how ya?

live is not easy as i grow up. need to do some decision which i'm afraid can hurt people. nvm....

FREEEEEEE!!!!!

well, just finished my exam. feeling so so so much relaxed. this is the moment i waited for so long. this semester has been a very bad semester. lots of pressure, workload, problems, etc. but i cruised through. that's the spirit.
the paper was tough. din have enough time to finish. but nvm..... last paper is alwayz nice... hahaha. one thing about my last paper, cell bio. i think this module shud be taught for primary schools students. y? coz its full of ABCs. just that those ABCs are not systematically arranged. in this module, if u think 2 comes after 1, u r most probably wrong. but if u just mix up the alphabets, u r almost right. hahahaha.
this particular month has been a mixture of joy, stress, pressure and laughter. i have given up on everything at one time; thanx to my frenz who lifted me up. the time i spent with my frens in the study room, the laughter, jokes and story we shared together just couldn't have made my days better. now holidays.... i'm there!!!!

No Hope or hopeless???

well, i did badly for my calculus...... the hall was very cold, my hand was shivering, these are excuses. just couldnt do well. i had the confidence looking at the questions but when i attempted, i got stucked. hope i did well......

i saw her today. she's getting more n more beautiful everyday. i feel it. when she's around feel like i can do anything, can face anything......

it's another day of sleepless night. sounds cool. have to prepare for my last paper, cell bio. trust me, the notes if compiled can be as thick as the bible. and i have only around 24hours to read it. haiyo, too stressed up. nvm.... just keep going on...
Dan has finished his paper. almost all A1 pep have finished their exams..... they already start enjoying while i'm still stucked in the room; studying. whatever, i can start enjoying after wednesday. i'm quite busy after that though. have to plan my holidays after that. have to start working, planning for Red Cross and need some break to go back home. need some planning or everything will mess up........

Holidays.... here i come!!! HAHAHAHAHA

sleepless night....

boon, dan and i were making fun of KUSTEM in the room. the atmosphere was filled with laughter and joy. who really cares about the exam tomorrow. as long as Man U beat West Ham today, we can do well in our exams. And Man U is leading now. we r spirited to go for the exams.

i was going thru some calculus problems, flipped thru notes and browsed the exam papers and answers, but ended up writing this blog. so just guess how much i 'understand' calculus. man, how am i suppose to do tom. maybe i'll come out after an hour of test (we r not allowed to come out before an hour).

after boon went back to his room, the atmosphere now a bit dull. with dan doing something with his com, figuring how he's gonna sit for tom's exam. everybody's problem. i guess he's blogging too. hahaha.

i'll feel only relieved after Man U scores another goal to make it 3-1. well, i think i'm not suppose to blog that often. this semester has been very bad for me. but hope next sem will be better.

Gambate..............

The Unspoken Love......

The Unspoken Love………..


My love story started when I first met her;
My heart stopped beating, but
my eyes just didn’t want to stop looking;
her beauty can trigger the third world war,
but her smile will settle them all down!

We became close friends
on the second day we met,
And I realized that,
it’s actually her inner beauty
which reflects on her face!

Right at that second,
I decided that,
if I were to spend
the rest of my life with an angel
it would be someone like her……
it would be her

I didn’t think about her feelings,
I didn’t know how far it will go,
And I didn’t care what the consequences are;
what I thought I knew I was caring for is to love her;
and just to love her……

now, I realized that
I’m the one who will be hurt;
but everything is just too late…..

I’ll never regret for loving her
meeting her is a dream come true for me
though I’m not going to live with her,
I’ll be counting my days for her…

If water is the measure of my love,
then, the ocean is just a drop
of my river of love

If my love is strong and pure,
you’ll come back to me for sure;
and I’ll wait for that moment
even if it takes a million years

my love story ended
before it could have even started
it was not because of her who rejected,
it was because of me who hesitated

listen to your heart,
if it says that she is your soul mate,
then go… go now and don’t wait
because it has never been late………



Created by,

Dinesh @ Didi
19 May 2005

Title by: Charlene­

The story continues.....

what a boring afternoon. i tried to sleep for the past two hours but ended up shivering under the damn air-con in the study room. well, sleeping on the floor is not comfortable though. tomorrow, i have another paper. but at the moment, i'm trying to empty my mind. well, my mind has been empty alwiz but this is an excuse for me to take some rest.
what dan said few weeks ago still makes me giggle. he said that the moment he found his gf (girlfriend) he's gonna slap her and ask her where has she been for all these years. i hope the girl will not slap him back and ask the same question. this fella has problem in approching girls. he doesn't have the guts to take the first step but expecting girls to come to him. very bad. actually, every single guy wants this. same like me. i have no experience in approaching girls. how am i suppose to get a gf then. sigh.... i think i've been fated to be a bachelor all my life. what a sad life.
even though i met my dream girl, i hesitated to tell her. my fault but i was not ready and prepared. by the time i was prepared...............

"IF ONLY YOU KNOW, MY GLORIOUS LOVE"

"IF ONLY YOU KNOW, MY GLORIOUS LOVE"


The first time I met you,
I didn’t like you,
Everything that you do,
seemed not to be true

When I was celebrating,
There were a lot of friends….laughing
But, you were one step further….smiling. Why?
When I was in tears,
none of them appears,
But, you were still one step further…..smiling. Why?

When I felt the world is against me,
you were there for me,
giving me strength and hope
to walk up against the slope

I dunno why,
whenever I’m with you,
feel like a lifetime passes in a second,
but, when we are apart,
one second takes a lifetime

I’m so near to you,
yet I’m feeling so far,
I have thousands of words to say,
but I couldn’t say a word to you

You gave me feelings which I can’t understand;
You gave me pain which I can’t bear in mind.

I dunno whether you love me or love me not,
but, I will love you till my last breath;
And even after that,
my memories will still love you!

Winning your heart is one part of my life,
the other part would be, making you happy!


Created by,
Dinesh @ Didi
12/03/2005
Title by: Leng lui

The story begins......

The poem i posted previously was what i thought about love. After looking people dying for their love, revenge, etc. i was able to see only hatred and jealousy, not love. dun blame me coz of my thoughts. give u an example, there is a guy who loved a girl so much..... so much till i dunno how to describe. the girl was giving a good response. what i thought at that time was a happy ending.... means a fairy tale ending. it was that close and romantic. it was going on smoothly. ops, i forgot to mention that he hasn't actually expressed his love to her. waiting for the right time (maybe his funeral, i guess) to tell her. before he could express himself to her, she found another handsome guy (not as handsome as me though), richer and cooler. our fren here, what else...... love failure lah. how can a person don't realize that he/she being loved. i dun understand. our fren then start to do funny things. cursing her, bla bla bla, what a typical loser would do. man, scary. that's y i always thought that love is pain ful.

but till i met her. everything seems to change. i start to take care of my outlook. trying my best to give a good image to her. wow, wan me to describe her. i feel the roses will get envy looking at her beauty. even though i know that i'm not up to her standard, but it's not a crime to admire beauty. i start to listen to some love songs..... man, never did that before. cool. the songs were relaxing and refreshing. and for her i wrote a poem again...................

(continues......)

Love is Full of Pain.........

Love is full of pain……………

Love is full of pain……..

Even when my friends said
that the love is great,
I’d always thought they were crazy

Love is full of pain……..

On seeing couples in love,
I would laugh,
thinking they are crazy

Love is full of pain…….

Only till I met you….
you crafted the smile on my face,
bringing me up to the surface
Yes! Now, I’m crazy…

Love is full of pain………

Wasn’t my principle at all,
you made my life meaningful;
taught me love is beautiful….

But.. you left me in a sudden,
Just like a butterfly leaving the garden
Leaving me alone…….in tears
Even though I know you only for a while
It was worthwhile…….. After all,

Love is full of pain……..


Created by,

Dinesh @ Didi

02-02-05

funny thinking......

haish..... what a boring day. went to jb this morning. came back as fast as i could to meet my tutors. i went thru the webcasts (lecture webcasts) like watching serials. i respect the ability of people who can watch dramas or serials continuously. just amazing. i just cant stuck my butt at one place more than an hour. hehehe.
well, its funny to think some of the shopkeepers. i think the engineers must get a degree from them instead. if any machines go wrong while they are dealing with the customers, they'll conclude something which the founder or creater might not even dreamt about it. very funny. for an instance, the notes (money) was stucked in the money counting machine which counts money notes in a flash. since it was stucked, the machine stopped counting. suddenly, the old guy said that the notes were all new and smooth and that's y it cannot count. he didn't mention anything about the stucked notes. well, even if he realized that the notes were stucked in the machine, they'll never say so as that would embarrass him. i dun think the engineer who created the machine was aware that smooth notes can cause some technical problems.
now listening back to webcasts. what kind of life is this? in one week time or more precisely in 5 days time, i can sleep soundly without any worries. coz my exams are gonna over. yes lah. at last the worst sem is gonna over. hope for the better next year.

glimpse of hope....

well, i have friends with me. they are like angels sent by god. maybe god cannot take care of everybody. that's y He sends mums and frens to earth.
frens like boon eng, aman, dan, aaron, may san, shiau chuen, pinggee, charlene, weixin, ci qian, TARC frens, SMKM frens, etc. are very hard to find. whenever they are around, feel like its worth living. no matter what happens, as long as they are with me, i can go thru anything.
life is not that bad as what i have thought it would be when everything goes the wrong way. with such frens around, things will only get better n better. no turning back.
thanks my frens. hope u'll be alwiz there.

when everything goes the wrong way......

well, when you feel you have done something to make ur loved ones proud of you but turned out that the screwest thing ever u've done, what would u do? i'm in that situation now.
actually thats only one of the many i'm facing now. when u tried ur very best, giving the best effort but u din get what u want, feel like committing suicide.
i was aware that if u give your very best honestly, u'll at least gain something, but i've lost my confidence. I was badly defeated but this is not an excuse for me to hide or give up. i'll cme back stronger. the harder i fall, the stronger i'll bounce back. but time matters.
i'm having the worst days in my life. rather than thinking y is it happening to me, its better to think thank god its happening to me now. think positive.
since this is my first blog message, just giving confidence and advice to myself and whoever reads this. My days are dark now. but i'm sure sooner or later i'll feel the sunshine. tough times come n go but tough people remain.