my... my.... my....

exam finished today..... wanna feel happy coz it has finished or sad coz i screwed up!! ganja! man, i got bored of thinking of my papers. screwing up again n again n again. I'm on my way to go back home. cant wait. haha. anyways, thank you singapore for all these 2 years full of mixed feelings. haha. what happened this year. a lot.

after being two years here, i started to know the true colours of people around me, started to get friends who i'll treasure for the rest of my life, experienced friends who took everything for granted, learnt how to bounce back and so on. learnt a lot this semester. especially, we need to becareful before making friends. really. i was thinking that as long as they are someone u know and know u, be friends. but now, becareful. sometimes, the one u trust turns u down. its our fault actually. those pep dun worth our trusts. stop having trusts on these kinds of pep. ganja.

true characters of pep. funny thinking bout it. haha. dun wanna talk bout this coz its sensitive. i'm in trouble if the person i mention reads this blog. haha. so play safe. what i wan now is a chilling time while packing up. Parit Buntar, here i come...............

Happy Birthday, folks!!

we celebrated both ciqina's ( Ci Qian) and May San's (MS) birthdays together at midnight on the 30th of April. It was an awesome environment and strangely, aman joined us. after the same old procedures, singing and clapping and taking pictures, we went to r5 tv room. we took some pics as well and i pity the guy who was watching a chinese show. really pity him. he might be thinking from which jungle this bunch of pep are. haha. we were making all the noise in the room. aman with his secret crush.... haha.

girls were sitting at one corner. guys might understand y we guys were at the other end of the corner. we were making fun and laughing all the way. with aman trying to get his secret admirer's attention and all; i got a stomachache laughing. we din care bout the birthday girls and their 'girl' friends. haha. really. sorry for that. i dun think they notice. guys, u know y. haha. anyway, happy birthday, girls. welcome to group 22.

tomoro i have the last paper for the sem. i might go back home early this semester. need a break and nothing can beat home sweet home. miss everyone there. so many pep n frens waiting for me back there. can't wait to go back. well, i might miss my frens here but gonna meet you all next sem. so many messages just to know when i'll be back. only when i'm back, the street soccer will come back!!!! waitytytytytyt frens. me on my way already......

confidence crushed......

yesterday, i sat for a paper. a paper i worked so hard and put so much of effort. it's not easy to memorize, u know! but, after the paper, my confidence was crushed. i have another paper. a realistic scoring paper. but i have no confidence i can do well in it. coz it's just don't go that way. work hard but no results. pep say u need to sacrifice something to obtain something. i've sacrificed a lot and all i get is frustration, anger and disappointment. ganja!!

anyways, feeling better now. need the encouragement to study. need that one last push to finish up the paper. and i hope i can finish my exams strongly. till now, i haven got the push yet. still searching. another 4 more days and i have to do it. have gone thru a lot before this. just can't handle it anymore.

whatever, i need to stay focus. boro won in the quarters n semis, needing 4 goals. they din gave up and scored the goals. and now they r in the final. when all the odds were against them, they din give up. they faught till the last minute. and scored the winner at the last minute. cool. respect them. maybe this is the push i was waiting for a long long time. go boro, go!!!

well, well, well......

today, i finished my 3rd paper. two more to go. after coming out from my exam hall, i realized that the scariest thing to do in life is choosing an answer out of 4 or 5 options. man, terrible. most of the time, i was wondering if i were sitting in the correct exam hall for the correct paper. lsm2102 - molecular genetics killed me off. till i have no more tears. ganja lah.

well, for the past week, one thing has been bothering me a lot. dunno who to talk to. i have a fren, lets call the friend, X. last year, X was in kind of a troubled position. i was there and helped X. problem settled. this year, co-incidentally, i was in the same position as X was last year. but X did not come up to help. X din even bother to ask me whether everything is fine or not. maybe X din realize that X is doing so n so. but i felt disturbed. i din expect anything from X when i helped X, but the way X is now bothering me a lot. this is what we call a friend. nowadays, sometimes, i'm confused about friends. define friends; sorry, i can't answer this question at the moment. i have splendid frens who will definitely be there for me. but at the same time, i'm having frens who dun appreciate the relationship. friendship is a special relationship. we have to treasure it. maybe pep wont start to treasure till they lose it. sorry for those pep.

now, i have to prepare for my metab. i have to make sure, it will not be my second nightmare. have to work hard. two more papers to go and i have to give everything i got. thats y i'm here. all da best to all of us...... never give up!!!

ganja, dunno how many times i've republish this blog, this particular post is not there. this is now pissing me offffffff!!!!!!!!!! now, publish this post!

journey ended before it could have even started......

i sat for my last test yesterday...... first, on tuesday, i got my genetics results. on wednesday, we went thru our experimental test answers and yesterday, i sat for my metabolism n regulation test. the results are not inspiring especially genetics. it killed me off. i dunno how to bounce for that module. well, this is what i say to myself during these times; if u r not at the peak, it doesn't mean that u r at the trough; if you don't win doesn't mean that u r defeated. well, the sayings help me most of the times.

well, my TAR College fren, ex-classmate during A-levels time, sent her feedback on racism. the way she consoled me was awesome. no wonder she's one of my wives. haha. really. what she said is true. dun bother bout the ill behaved pep. just go on with my life. i think there are many people for me outside there. feeling so comfortable and relaxed now. No worries. i wont let that to affect me anymore. i'm over it already. thanks, pal! u r certainly one of the best of the best!

today is my new year.... (tamil new year) i'll be going to the temple later with another fren. nothing much in this new year. every year, i'll be looking for the new year. but the years have gone bad to worse for me. and last year was the worst. i dun wanna go thru anymore worse that that. i dun think i can survive. please and please, i hope this year, things will change for me. anyways, it's new year and i'm in new year spirit now. Happy new year to all the Tamil makkals (pep in tamil) and happy good friday to all the Christians. enjoy.....

friendship.....not everyone knows what it means!

our lives are not complete without friends. in every sweet memory of ours, friends somehow will be there. without friends, our lives would be in the dark; without fun, care and love. however, some really don't know how to treasure the friendship he/she has.

after going thru a lot of things, i realize that friends are not easy to get. i used to be the luckiest person in getting frens (i still think i am) but somehow, some of them just dun worth my friendship. i dun understand why pep taking friendship for granted. for an instance, i am their good buddy only when i'm needed and when i'm not, no one cares whether i'm alive or not. is this what we call friendship???

there are a lot of examples.... for an instance, when 2 of the frens are together, both of them are like siamese twins; cannot be separated. but when they are apart, they'll be talking bad about each other like no one's business. another example is, the fren needs another fren to help him/her but when the other fren needs help, he/she will be asking, "y r u coming to me everytime?" well, i'm not telling that u need to have friendship with expectations. but when u need help, frens are the first one to be there. if he/she is not there when u need someone, then they are not ur frens at all. throw them away and carry on with ur life!

i came across this saying: it's not what u think; its what u know. this reminded me of a fren who has this attitude: its not what u know; its what u think u know. haha. he/she (to play safe) is a joke. he/she doesn't realize that this world is not that easy as what he/she is expecting to live in.

these pep dun treasure friendships. i think pep start to appreciate only when they lose it. its not easy to get someone to be always there for us no matter what we r facing..... but if we do have, we must treasure coz at the end of the day, we'll realize that there's not many of them who'd be there for us..........

What a day: Sunday!!!

today, i woke up only for lunch. din do much after that. was doing my research on nitrogen oxide synthase and cyclooxygenase. my lab report actually. found some interesting stuffs in it. dunno whether i'm able to explain or not. haha. well, the day started only after dinner. had dinner with ron n dan. critisized some pep over their attitudes. man, as i mentioned before, the true colour of pep lie deep into them and not on their skin shit colour.

well, aman, boon n i went to watch man u vs ars game. quite bad for dan, he couldnt join us coz was busy with his project. 3 of us went to modestos at orchard. the girls there were hot but not pretty. who cares... haha. we were sitting just infront of the screen. a good view. the game was awesome. as alwiz, man u won 2-0. rooney was superb in the game.

then, came back with merc cab. we visited dan in the seminar room. he was still doing his project with weixin. had some jokes with him and suddenly out of nowhere, boon asked me to study with him. good thing but at this time???? then he said he was hungry. dan seconded. ganja. have to order mcd. and still waiting for the delivery. what takes them so long. ganja.

sleepy but kind of hyped up to study. will start my revision on dr. helmet's notes.........